Bringing Me Closer to My Goals?
Last summer, I worked several different jobs. One of the jobs was at a marketing company where my ex worked, and still works as far as I know. The marketing company sent me an email yesterday asking me to come back and work on the same project that I did last summer. Doing so would be all extra money, and, this time, I would be working three times as much as last summer. The money that working that much at that pay rate would bring in would put me in a position where I could actually think about buying a nice used car.
So, it would seem that it is a great thing to do, right? Well, my stress dial was immediately turned up at the idea of seeing my ex again. I have not seen or spoken to him since the divorce has been final (about six months), and, after being propositioned for this project, I started to feel like I was still not ready to see him again.
My healing progress since the divorce has had its ups and downs. In the last few months, I can say that it has been mostly ups. I smile a lot more, and they are real smiles, with my eyes and everything. I feel happier and healthier, mind, body, and soul. It was starting to seem like the worse was finally over and I was finally moving on with my life (becoming more goal oriented has helped). Then, I received this email and was thrown off for a bit.
I expressed my feelings with friends and family, and we all came to the same conclusion. Working at this company would be a good thing for me because it would give me more good work experience and more money. I cannot let my ex dictate what I do and do not do, especially when it is something that is good for me. In addition, putting myself in the face of my fears (one of which was running into him again), may be just the last push that I need to really move on with things.
So, I went ahead and emailed the HR person back and said that I would love to work on the project again. We will see how this goes, but, no matter what, I know God is with me.
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