UrsLife

For instance, I cannot really throw out my glasses, can I? On very, very rare occasions, my glasses remind me of him. We went to get eye exams together, and picked out glasses, and had the staff rolling from our humor. It seemed like a good time. Only a few months later, and it was over. I need my glasses to see, and I no longer have insurance to get new ones, so…

Then, there is a winter jacket. Where I live you need one, and it is just not practical to throw it out and buy a new one just to get rid of the memory that it is one of the few things that he ever bought for me. It would be just my luck anyway that the new coat would remind me that it was only a replacement for the old coat, which reminded me of him. LOL

I have an xbox that he promised me when he upgraded to a 360. I only have a few games, and they do not make the console anymore. It has sat idle for months because his ease in actually surrendering it at the end of the divorce is just a symbol of how much he wanted me out of his life.

The funny thing is that he still wears his clothes that I bought and/or picked out for him. He wears these clothes when he goes and hangs out with his girlfriend without a thought of me. How do I now this? I see the pictures, that he posts using a computer that I bought for him, that he probably uses every day without a thought of me, as well. (Yeah, I know. I need to stop looking at his facebook/myspace/lastfm/etc pages. I promised myself to stop months ago and I have only faltered once) Hey it takes time.

The point is…how can he so easily separate me from items that have me written all over them when I am having so much trouble separating him from this old junk.

Like I said about buying a new coat. Replacing items is not going to help. What I have to do is change my thinking about things. I have to make these things my own or get rid of them completely–no replacements.

So, going through…I did find one thing that I just needed to throw away. I ripped it to shreds, cut it up, and threw it out. Man, it felt good.

I found one thing that I could sell. I have already posted it on ebay for sale. I found one brand new thing that I could give away, so I will give it to my mother to donate at her church the next time that I see her.

Then, there are things I just need to keep and separate the memory from. So, I have to find a way to make them my own. The glasses will be easy. That memory is very rare, and glasses are so second nature for me, half the time I do not know that I have them on anyway.

The coat, well I only wear it to Sunday service, and, well, isn’t everything God’s and He’s just letting us use it anyway. LOL That one’s solved.

The xbox, well, let’s just say that today I made i my own. Nothing like an inaugural bout of DDR to claim ownership. I think I have found my indoor, winter exercise!

If it is holding you back, then get rid of it. Throw it out, sell it, or give it away to someone you do not know so that you will never see it again. If you cannot get rid of it, then make it your own or at least find a new positive way of thinking about it. Either way, let it go and move on.