Facing My Fears…or Not
Today was my first day back at the summer job that I mentioned in a previous post. From the time that I was asked to come back, up until the night before I was very anxious about going back because of the fear of encountering my ex. But, by the time that I was ready to go, I was fine. I was positive, confident, and even glad for the opportunity. The key was to remember that it’s not about him, it is about me.
Last year, there were two of us working on this project for the whole summer. A couple of interns came to help later on in the summer.
Initially, when I was asked to come back this time, they said that we would work about 60 days, which would be most of the summer in business days. However, when I got to work, everyone else had received an email saying that they would only be working until June 19th. I did not get the email, but it sounded like I was included in the group. This year, seven of us were hired.
This new knowledge of the shorter work period was a bit of a disappointment because it put a dent in my used car purchase plan. Nevertheless, some extra money is better than no extra money.
Well, it turns out that my anxiety was unnecessary. As far as I can tell, my ex no longer works there. One of the people whose project on which I was working sits at his old desk. She told me that they moved the legal people to the floor below. It seemed like there was more to it than that, though, because I could not find his name in the online or printed directory, his name no longer comes up when you start typing it in an email, and his picture is not on the organizational pages anymore.
Even though I had put the focus on me and how good this experience was for me, it was an added relief that I did not have to worry about running into him. I hope that things are well with him, though. They lay off people at this place left and right, and I imagine it has only gotten worse since the troubles in the auto industry have reached a height. It is possible that it happened to him. What do I know though. All that I know is I am here for at least a month and I’m going to enjoy the change of pace of work and the money.
Comments