Snow & Blue Mondays Don’t Mix
Winter is my favorite season. I really missed winter when I lived in California. We had our first snowfall over the night. The snow will probably be all melted by tomorrow. Most of it even melted today.
Snow usually makes me smile; however, when I woke up this morning and saw that there was snow on the grass, I broke out in tears. First, I had been having some bad dreams related to my sad personal situation. Second, seeing the snow just reminded me of how much more difficult this winter was going to be for me and how much more difficult the holidays were going to be for me.
I am losing someone who has been very important in my life for the last ten years. It is almost like someone dying, so I will be going through a grieving process for this season and, basically, indefinitely. I am probably for the first time loathing Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Mondays are typically rough days for me because they are my long and late days. I often spend the morning crying and depressed, but by the time I walk out the door for work, I am focused and can get through the day. I take it hour-by-hour, and I am able to numb myself for those hours, usually. Today, it wasn’t happening. I had already resorted back to my Help Me, Jesus playlist this morning, and I still was not feeling that great when I left. I made it through about three and a half hours, and that was with crying in between every client and fighting back tears while talking to my clients. I finally realized that I just needed to go home.
Some days are better than others, and some days are like today.
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